Jet Lag_time differences

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      In a six-meter square's hostel, I woke up from a dream about rushing through the completion of certain tasks, and so I scrambled to look for my watch as soon as I woke up. I was afraid that I had confused my time and would miss my next flight, but then I realized that it was just one in the morning. It must be due to the reason that my biological clock still have not been well-adjusted. Yesterday morning, I took a three-hour flight from Texas to California in Los Angeles, and then another twelve-hours flight from Los Angeles to Narita, Japan. I had spent my night in a cramped quarters during my transit at the Narita airport - a place filled the most advanced technology, especially the automatic flushing facility in the toilet. This made me think, , with a tinge of emotion, about how we live on the same planet with so different needs. My two-busy-weeks in the USA are over; just after adapting to the time zone differences, it's time to leave this place again. Suddenly, I realized that my body is aging and I am unable to sustain myself like I used to. I can adjust my physiological jet lag gradually, but my psychological “jet lag” is getting obvious along with time. Perhaps it is because I had to come to America immediately after I had left Yushu, and this brought upon a psychological gap to me – in terms of material right up to the soul.....

        That day, while I was on the 10-hours plus flight to America, I had closed my eyes to imagine the time when I was on a 14-hour bus ride leaving Yushu. Although there were constant provision of meals on board, I just felt as if something was missing. The time taken for both trips is the same, but the trips have brought me to two totally different worlds. I was living in Yushu for three weeks before going to America - a place that does not  require me to wear watches or hang up clocks. People start to work when the sun rises, and go back home when the sun sets. On those days, there were only tents set up beside the river and along the mountains, and a lawn for people to sit on but there were no florescent lights and bathroom tools. Without a mirror, I have learned not to care so much about my appearance during those days. Sometimes, I scared myself when I saw my own reflections on the car windows. However, when this plane landed on the land of America, what I saw were endless highways, all kinds of transports that were operating according to time, and office workers carrying a Blackberry. These speeding appearances of this city caused me to feel anxious and tensed. The taxi drivers were polite to me because they were expecting tips from me. I was in a country where providing service is a way for people to make money. In comparison to Yushu, our drivers were Tibetan friends who volunteered to drive us for free to our destinations and for our home visits. No matter how, when I was in Rome do as Romans do, I told myself that I have come to the society with Western capitalism and consumerism. However, in my mind, I am still spending the dollar currency but converting the currency to yuan. Lacking the feeling of feeling back at home, I wondered if it's because USA is no longer suitable for me or I am no longer suitable for the USA?

         Stepping into the hostel that my alma matter in California had prepared for me, I could not help but exclaimed in my heart, “Hey, this is a suite room!” I was stepping on a soft carpet, there was a television and large sofa set in front of me, an attached balcony outside the window, a clean and bright kitchen on my left, a bedroom with a walk-in closet, as well as big side mirrors that touched the ground! I suddenly felt “flattered”, like I did not deserve to live in such luxury space, but at the same time, there was a sense of gratitude arising from within. After I have calmed myself down,  I started to think again, “There is something wrong with me; I used to live such life for ten years when I was in USA, but I have never felt this happy and satisfied before. Back then, I did not only have a big refrigerator, a microwave and oven; I also had a toaster and juicer, etc.! So, what were the reasons that made me feel so different this time, just like an old grandma entering into a big beautiful garden?” Later, I concluded that it was due to the “Yushu reaction” – when a person has nothing, he/she will be grateful for whatever given, any material that are beyond our real needs are worthy for us to be grateful for. However, when a person has everything, any little thing that is taken away will cause a sense of loss and suffering. This is why Jesus said that it is difficult for the rich to enter into the kingdom of God. It is because they are unable to see the door to heaven and at the same time cannot put aside all the fame and wealth that they are attached to.

        Of course, not every poor person are without greed. Especially after the earthquake, there were those who had received a little welfare support realized that they could take advantage of it to earn money by liaising with various NGOs and make themselves looked like beggars. However, there were also those who felt really contented, those who felt that they lack nothing. They do not need to be wealthy and they will still be thankful, as long as their family members are still alive and safe, even if it means losing a leg. In Yushu, I did not only learned the meaning of contentment from the victims, but also felt the joy and happiness from the selfless volunteers. These memories constantly flashed in my mind, especially when I was in San Diego to attend the 118^th Psychology Congress with more than 20,000 psychology experts who were climbing the academic ladder. All of them were talented and knowledgeable, relying on project funds to publish article after article, book after book. More than a dozen of publishers would give discounts and lucky draws to encourage these scholars to purchase, in order to earn from selling their textbooks and psychological testing tools. Walking into the general assembly hall, I remembered seeing her in Yushu – a 21 year-old girl  suffering from cerebral palsy at a young age, besides having multiple disabilities like deafness and dumbness. I was told that she was abandoned by her parents at birth, and was brought up by her grandparents in the nursing home. However, her grandmother died in that earthquake leaving her with her grandfather to live in a broken tent. Her grandfather does not really know how to take care of her, and always had the lower part of her body wrapped in cotton clothes. Therefore, the disabled girl always left her pieces of foods, faeces, urine and even menstruation waste sticking to her body. Most people would treat her as a retarded person and her tent was always stinking with a pungent smell and filled with flies. The grandfather even said that if there comes a day when he can no longer support her, he will just take a knife and kill his granddaughter and then himself.

      I remembered on one Sunday morning, I felt tedious and I had a sudden urge to play the piano and sing songs of praise and worship, but there were no musical instruments and neither was there a church. Then, I went to visit a nursing home with my teammates, and brought along a few donated clothing items for this girl. Just as we were about to change her clothes, one of my students asked me, “Teacher, can we help her to clean her body first?”. I was touched. We the three female volunteers carried a pot of cold water and another pot of hot water, slowly cleaned her with soap and towel from head to toe, with her grandfather's permission. As I gently wiped her face with the wet towel and called out her name, she looked at me with a calm smile, her eyes were full of wisdom and honesty. I felt unworthy, as if Jesus was standing in front of me saying, “what you are doing for this little sister, you are doing it for Me.” I suddenly felt that washing her face and hand was actually worshiping our Father – it was Him who gave me this opportunity to serve Him. Even though there were no music by the musical instruments but only her silent stare, I could not find another more sacred place than her tent at that moment. What was the strength that has helped her to survive these 21 years without sound and freedom?

        Returning to the hotel in USA with the luxurious décor, with the gym and pool outside the window, and people displaying their perfect skin and body under the sun, my friends who drove luxury cars came and fetched me for dinner. We talked about various American issues such as the fear of an economic downturn, on the table with overflowing bread and beef, as well as French fries. Suddenly, the bag of potatoes and meal table in Yushu's tent came back to my mind. My friends kept persuading me to stay and develop my career in USA since the living environment and working conditions here are much better than in Malaysia. I smiled and shook my head, today is different from yesterday, because the psychological impact of "jet lag" that Yushu had subverted on me is indescribable.  In Yushu, I cried, I laughed, I went crazy, I felt pain but I had also felt that I had truly lived. Perhaps, the most comfortable and beautiful season has already passed now, the grass turning yellow, rain are falling continuously in the autumn time. I still believe that God is sitting on that mountain and He promised that though sorrow may last for the night, joy shall come in the morning. No matter the rich in the United States or the poor in Yushu, there are no differences. God wants us to understand the secret of settling down our minds, do what we suppose to do, despite the circumstances, and in both good and bad times!

Rachel Ting

24th August 2010
(on board the flight from Japan to Kuala Lumpur)

Special thanks to our translator: Jasmine Chua